My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
