So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
