Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize