Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Randomize
