TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
