You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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