Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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