hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
