DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
And then my night got REAL pukey
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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