there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize