fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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