I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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