That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
