i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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