I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
