Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
