I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
