There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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