She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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