$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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