Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize