Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
