my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
