is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize