This girl is more easily done than said...
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize