These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
