ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
