I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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