Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
