My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It's rum buckets o'clock
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
