is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
