I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
