He kissed a someone with a penis
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
