Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
