May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Will exercising make me less horny?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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