we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
