This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
