I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
