almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize