i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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