Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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