It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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