I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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