you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
