Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
