People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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