I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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