No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
