Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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