I'm lost and stupid without you.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
