I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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