i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
