And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
