My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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