omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
