Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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