Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
