then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Such a big mess for such a small penis
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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