i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
