You can't motorboat a personality
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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