Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
