How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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