11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
