Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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