OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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